12.12.08

Ramblings

SO many of you don't know me. And maybe that is the fun part about having a blog that you get to hear from and reach out to many people outside of your everyday sphere. Which most days for me means my main floor. I enjoy that there is this whole world out there that can be accessed in the touch of my keyboard.

However I have been finding myself feeling as though my actual little world isn't as large as I thought it was. I am not sure if I am just in a personal impass of closing in because so much in my life is an unknown right now, and I always feel better when it feels like I have some control. (can you say OCD)

I guess I feel as though people are shying away from me. And I am trying to soul search to see if it is me that's pushing them, or if maybe it's just that I am losing those connections. Maybe I just need a good kick in the pants to get out there socially. (I have never had this problem before. I have always been a social butterfly) So bear with me as I discover the root to my new found feeling of being left out.

I do however on a very positive note feel really blessed to have Kent home so much right now. I have even become accustom to having him around, to the point that he has to go do snow removal, and I feel like I did when we were dating and we had to say goodbye. I hated having to sleep by myself, even though that is all I knew! It just seemed wrong when I was so in love to say goodbye to my other half. (how's that for sappy!)

I also feel really blessed that I have been able to spend more time with the kids doing 'good mommy' things. Like crafts and baking, and playing in the snow. (pics to come) I love those munchkins SO much and can hardly wait to hold this new one. Which by the way I have totally popped and now sport a cute little belly, for all to see!

Now don't get worried about me (Mom, Nicole, you know who you are) After all this could just be a fresh batch of hormones, and it's late at night.

15 comments:

Katie said...

I promise that us moving to Denver was not shying away! We miss YOU! I wish I could be there to see your baby bump! I NEED photos. I hate feeling out of control, and I don't think I fully understand how you feel, but I will venture to say I understand a little teensy bit. We're feeling a little out of control with some of our decisions that we need to make, and the apartment that I just can't seem to get together! And hormones, ya! Last night I nearly cried because Conor just wanted to goof around and I was so tired and needed to go to sleep. Sheesh. Womanhood will get ya every time!

I'd love to hear from you! I'm trying to stay in touch by at least sending tons of emails. lol. Hopefully that's working... Love you Liz!

Daria - Boutique Cafe said...

My name wasn't mentioned, so I guess it's safe for me to worry about you. Even if you don't really want me to, it's just my nature. :)

I'm sorry you're feeling left out of things lately, that's never a good feeling. I can't imagine anyone not wanting to hang with you though, you're so much fun! I LOVE my Liz time!

I'm happy to hear that you're enjoying your kiddos and also having Kent around so much. It must be a huge change to have him within your grasp during the day. Awesome to see that you two are still so in love.

Hang in there sweetie. You are loved so much!

Charmaine said...

I go through the same thing every once in awhile, where I feel like "maybe I'm not as cool as I actually thought I was..." And begin to feel pretty lonely and disconnected from friends and sometimes even family. Undoubtedly the feeling always passes, and I wonder why I ever thought that in the first place. Some down times are longer than others, sometimes shorter. But I'm sure it also has something to do with the hormones - they're a b****.

pescbrico said...

You know you are not the only one to feel that way in your life... I've been a really sociable person and I still am but with the kids and all my priority have change and just because we don't have so much time in a day well I had to priorised and well I realised that it's the same for my friends around... we get caught in the swirels of life. I just tought I share! Have a great day!

Misty said...

I don't know you personally, but I enjoy checking your blog and I think you would be a real cool friend to have!!! You have a darling family!

Kritta22 said...

I'm with Misty! I think you are really great!
Just a side note, you gotta think that it is a busy time of year for almost everyone. The normal friend that would call to hang out at a park or something is probably cleaning the back of her cabinets for the mother-in-law visit for Christmas. (I know I am.)
So maybe it's a bunch of things, friends moving away, prego waves of emotion, everyone doing their own things and maybe, just maybe a little lack of girl-girl convo.
I hope this feeling passes soon. It's never fun. I wish I was a neighbor and I'd bring you some hot chocolate while we watch the munchkins play in the snow. Marshmellows or not?

Stephanie M Larsen said...

I'm so glad you posted this. Your so brave to write how you really feel even when it's down, it makes me feel like I can be even more real on my blog too. Well, you know I love you, I'm even making you a Christmas present, that was really going to just be an 'I just love Liz' present but I never got it done. But now I have a deadline! :)

Love you Liz.

Sarah said...

Liz-you don't know me (that sounds creepy...:) but I read this and it made me sad! I think everyone you know should be telling you how wonderful you are right now. I really hope it is not people in your ward who are making you feel this way. We had a lesson on unity in Relief Society yesterday and no one should ever feel left out!! I visit teach your mom and she's awesome, so I can imagine how awesome you must be. I hope you feel better soon.

Rachel Mason said...

Well, I know personally that if there is a whole bunch of people around, I gravitate towards you because you are always fun to hang out with and talk to. I have been so busy lately that there is not a lot of time for socializing, but my theory is that there is a time and a season. One day when our kids are all grown we can just hang out and go for lunch every day! I feel like this sometimes too, so it makes me sad that you are feeling this way, but I love you!!!

Thistledew Farm said...

Such fun pictures in the snow - I miss snow! I grew up in Indiana, but live in Tennessee now....boo hoo no snow!

Christy said...

I know that confused "I'm fun..... aren't I???" feeling. If you feel like people are "shying away" from you, I'm sure it's not intentional because let me tell you... YOU are fun! A riot, in fact!

: )

The Young Ones said...

Hi! I don't know you but love your blog! You are an amazing Mama, wife, photographer, quilter, artist, and more...from what I have gathered. Don't let the hormones get the best of you. This world is a crazy place right now, it can be overwhelming at times. I have gone throught similar feeling in life lately..friends have been distant, being on my little same floor island..but everyone has grown up. They all, like you, have their own lives to tend to. I, like you seem, am a very social person. So this is hard to grasp. Just make sure you are making your efforts to keep in touch with the world and things will all fall into place. Keep up the blog, I enjoy you! Yah you! Happy Holidays! -Tonya

Tanya said...

Oh yeah, the "hormone/ late-night" post. I had one of those. About the same time as you, too, I think:) Still, not without cause - good girl for doing a little rambling! I was starting to think you were a super-human extraterrestrial...

Ashley Dawn said...

I wish I could be around more to hear more Liz Ramblings. Do you remember how long you could talk about any subject? I remember you were cut short on all your surprise speeches in elementary school. Sigh, anyway, I hope that you feel happier whether it's because of hormones or not.

Anonymous said...

Um..Liz, you don't know me either but I know a couple of people who have said nothing but wonderful things about you :) I really liked how you said what you did, honest and kind. I wish I could be open that way,too. Maybe I will make that a New Year's resolution for 2009.
I wish everyone in the world could express their feelings and receive this much love in return!